Dario Argento’s seminal Suspiria is one of DBW’s favourite horror films, so we’re treating the remake rumours with a huge ‘NOOOOOOOOO’. It’s SO not needed. There’s no way you can top Suspiria or Argento.

I Am Love director Luca Guadagnino is apparently the new director behind it, with Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson linked to the cast. It’s going to be set in Berlin in 1977. No word yet on the ballet school. Or all the rain. Or the ‘Three Mothers’ aspect.

Excuse us as we cry into our room full of barbed wire.